How has it been almost a year?! Ric and I said on Sienna’s birthday that we genuinely couldn’t believe it. As far as the first year as a separated/co-parenting couple it’s been a pretty mental one! Navigating our new life and a worldwide pandemic definitely made 2020 a year we will never forget. One thing is clear, our separation was the best decision we have made in a while.
I’m proud of us! Luckily most of the child-related issues, we agree on. I think the main reason why we have been successful is that we genuinely both put the kids first. When they are with me, they come first above anything else and vice versa with Ric. We try communicate well and we’ve had to work together to juggle lockdown/home parenting. When the kids went back to school in September, we got more of an understanding of what a real co-parenting life was even though the pandemic is still not over.
On birthdays and at Christmas we have spent time as a family of four and it’s been relaxed and fun. One Christmas Day Ric came for lunch and then took the kids home in the evening. I think that was the hardest moment to date. I was so grateful to have the kids on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day morning as they are my favourite times but it was hard saying goodbye. Mum and I had a lovely evening watching Christmas TV and eating chocolates. I was grateful for that.
It’s clear the kids love having both Mummy and Daddy together and I hope that we can continue those kinds of things for the sake of Lucas and Sienna. I know that things will change as we both get new partners but I hope we can all get along like some weird Brady Bunch – ha ha! One thing is for sure, we have two amazing kids and we owe it to them to do our best to co-parent.
Single Mum Life
It’s tiring. Ha ha. I feel guilty for looking forward to the break when they go to their Dads. I have to tell myself that I shouldn’t because from Tuesday after school to Sunday morning it’s just me tending to their every need and it’s exhausting. That break is very much needed!
The kids have been bickering more recently. The dynamics in their relationship are changing and the balance is disrupted. Lucas is struggling with Sienna having her own mind and not always wanting to play what he wants to play. The arguing is hard and they wind each other up. I hate telling them off but it has to be done sometimes. Then mum guilt creeps in because I don’t want to be a shouty mum.
You know what though, I’m really proud of myself. Despite getting shouty at times, I am working, mumming, running a home and managing my finances all by myself. I might have evenings where I feel lonely, or days where I can’t wait for them to go to bed. However, most of the time, we are a little team. Lucas is stepping up and earning his pocket money with little jobs like feeding the cat or opening the curtains. He’s fab at helping Sienna although day by day she is becoming more independent! This is both a help and a hindrance!
I’ve written three posts – eleven days, eleven weeks and eleven months after separation.
I will talk about co-parenting as I learn more and our lives change and adapt. I know others talking about it has really helped me. I hope that my words will help someone else.