In the year 2019, I’d like to think that gender stereotypes are dwindling. However, as I read David and Donetta’s post “How Stereotypical Is Our Relationship?” I started to question my own relationship with my husband Ric. I feared we might be more stereotypical than I dared to think! There was only one thing for it, take the challenge and find out!
Five out of seven days, Ric works 14 hour days. I do all the cooking because if I didn’t, well me and the kids would starve!
On his days off, it totally depends on what we are eating. If it’s meals that require timing and a variety of elements, such as a Sunday dinner, Ric cooks. If it’s a “throw it all in a pan” recipe, I cook. Saying that, since I started WW I do the cooking on his days off too!
Oh no, I’m going to look like a tw*t here. In the interest of honesty, we have a cleaner that comes every other week and does the basics – wiping, dusting, bathrooms, hoovering and mopping.
The decision to get a cleaner came about because regular arguments were happening as I wanted Ric to help clean on his days off. Understandably, he didn’t want to spend his only time with us as a family cleaning. He believed I should do it during the week. At the time I was working three days a week and juggling teaching, kids and cleaning so I didn’t agree!
Just because we have my magical cleaning fairy, doesn’t mean I don’t clean at all. After all, I have a toddler who can’t use cutlery yet. A messy four year old who manages to throw everything down him. Oh, and a husband who struggles to keep his food on the plate too! Daily hoovering/sweeping, wiping sides etc occurs, and then there is all the washing but it’s more manageable now.
Ha ha ha ha! This makes me laugh A LOT. Neither of us are good at DIY. We have to get someone else to do it for us! When Ric puts his mind to it, he can do the odd bit. To be honest, on the whole we both avoid it!
I think it’s about 70/30 split. I drive more than Ric but that’s because Ric’s driving irritates me. We tend to go in my car more than his as it’s newer. If we go in his car, he drives because I don’t like driving it. Oh, and if we go on a long journey he drives because I get distracted with singing to the music.
CUTTING THE GRASS
This is such a funny one for us. We once had a major argument about cutting the grass. Ric wanted to get a gardener to do it. He would pay someone to do everything if he could afford to! I said it was lazy and it only took half an hour so we should just do it. Before I went on maternity leave with Sienna, we did have a gardener as I gave in (which is rare!). I made him cancel him when I stopped working. He wasn’t the best gardener anyway! Ric had to do it for a while but now I’m working he’s employed a new one. He’s is actually quite good (shhhh, don’t tell him I said that!).
WORK V STAY AT HOME PARENT
Well since September, we have been sooooo stereotypical! Ric works and I’m the stay at home parent. Up until then, apart from maternity leave, we have both worked and I dropped to three days after Lucas. I’d like to work again and hoping to do two days a week.
BINS AND TIP RUN
Due to Ric coming in late at night, he always puts the wheelie bins out and usually brings them back in the next day when he gets home. He does tip runs too…in his car because I won’t have the rubbish in my car!
BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS SHOPPING FOR THE KIDS
I’ve always said that Ric only buys presents because he feels he has to, not because he enjoys it. Given the amount he works, the last thing he wants to do on his days off his go shopping and I can do it during the week when it’s quieter and on my day when both kids are at school/nursery which is far easier. Stereotypical it may be but it works for us.
Hmm, this is a difficult one. I wouldn’t class myself as really emotional but I know I have days when I can be overly emotional but I don’t cry, I’m more snappy and stressed out. Ric is fairly chilled most of the time but falls into the Italian stereotype of being fairly hot-headed. Pre-children we could have some pretty impressive arguments that cleared the air but in the last six months we have learnt how to communicate more and therefore arguments are fewer. Since having Sienna I have found my PMT to be worse but again, it manifests itself in being a complete arse more than anything else.
David and Donetta say that, according to their research, females are supposed to have a more passive and quiet temperament where as males are more outgoing and confident. In the modern world, I’m unsure what percentage of women would be the “quiet and passive” character as it’s all about strong, empowered women, just like it’s more sociably acceptable for men to be quiet and more emotional than the “lad” stereotype.
I definitely am not passive or quiet, I was a secondary drama teacher for 12 years, you can’t be either of those things for that job! Overall I am fairly confident and I will happily stick up for myself and my views. Ric is a lad, he is the most confident and outgoing person who will talk to anyone. I suppose thats why he’s good at his job.
THE RESULTS ARE IN…
Yes – 5
No – 5
An equal balance of stereotypical and not so stereotypical. I’m happy with that and I guess, in the grand scheme of things, that’s all that matters. We don’t live our lives by gender stereotypes and just do what needs doing when it needs doing. The areas were this post deems us to be “stereotypical” are more out of convenience than a specific choice.
Finally, it’s all just a bit of fun so why don’t you get involved and see how stereotypical your relationship is?! Make sure you share the results with me and David and Donetta.